Admonition Podcast

1 Timothy chapter 3.

We'll begin with a word of prayer.

Gracious Father in heaven, we come before you grateful at this time for your many
blessings, grateful for all that you do for us on a daily basis.

Lord, we're mindful of the circumstances that we find in life.

with health and with our physical bodies.

We know that at times people are ailing and having difficulties, and we pray that you will
be with them and give them strength and comfort during those times.

We're also mindful of those who have lost loved ones in recent days and months, and we
pray that you give them strength, give them comfort as well.

Lord, we pray that you will be with us as we go through this time of worship and study
this morning.

We pray that the things that we say and do will be in accordance with your will and right
in your sight.

Lord, we pray that you will be with us as we go throughout our lives, and may we strive
diligently to be obedient to you and firm in the faith.

All this we pray and ask in Jesus' name, amen.

In 1 Timothy 3, Paul writes, This is a faithful saying, If a man desires the position of a
bishop, he desires a good work.

A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good
behavior, hospitable, able to teach, not given to wine, not violent.

not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous, one who rules his own
house well, having his children in submission with all reverence.

For if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church
of God?

Not a novice, lest being puffed up with pride, he fall into the same condemnation as the
devil.

Moreover, he must have a good testimony among those who are outside lest he fall into
reproach and the snare of the devil." In these qualifications, Paul sets forward

what the qualifications are for one to serve as an elder or as he describes here at the
beginning of the text, as an overseer in the body of Christ.

He begins with he must be blameless, and that's what we covered last week.

The little green light is promising.

As we discussed the idea of blamelessness last week, we considered the idea of what it
means to be blameless versus what it means to be sinless.

As you go through these qualifications, the thing you will need to come to grips with is
there is an aspect of some of them which are direction and action.

In other words, he participates in certain actions, his life is set on a certain
direction.

And then there are others that are kind of like in a race, you have certain hurdles, you
have to have crossed that hurdle in order to complete the race.

Okay?

Some of them, you must be on the other side of a scenario in order to meet the
qualification.

If a person

And this kind of draws back on our discussion from last week.

If a person is perfectly blameless, then they're what?

Jesus or sinless, okay?

Which, there anyone, is there anyone who would meet all the qualifications of being an
elder who would meet that qualification if that's how we understood blameless?

No.

Matter of fact, it would completely eliminate everyone from ever being an elder because
Jesus isn't the husband of one wife, so he's not qualified.

no one gets to be an elder.

There are some qualifications that are direction, there are some qualifications that are
action, there are some qualifications that are hurdle that must be passed.

Okay?

And so we're going to see those and hopefully help appreciate the perspective of those as
we go along.

We begin again in verse 2, a bishop must be blameless, the husband of one wife.

What do we know about the qualification about being the husband of one wife?

He's a male.

In spite of what much of our culture would have you believe, and certainly our news media
and the people who make a lot of the shows and movies, if you're the husband of a wife,

you are a man.

That's the only way to be the husband of a wife, in God's eyes.

Yes, Ava.

Okay.

Well, I can't answer for why they can't believe it, but let's walk through that.

So, Ava brings up a good point.

What about a man who had been married to a woman and she died?

Is he?

and we're gonna go through a list of questions.

We'll walk through this, and by the way, there is scripture to back this up.

Is he the husband of one wife?

So let me ask this in a series of questions.

When he was married to the one woman, the only woman he had been married to, and she was
alive, was he the husband of one wife?

Yes.

Turn to Romans chapter seven.

Romans chapter 7.

Romans chapter seven verse one, or do you not know brethren, for I speak to those who know
the law, that the law has dominion over a man as long as he lives.

Now, in order to get the context of Romans seven, you must understand Paul's not writing
about marriage.

Paul's writing about the Old Testament law, Moses, in relationship to the Jews and the
Gentiles who are Christians, okay?

The discussion is about the Law of Moses.

But Paul's going to use what is clearly understood to be true about marriage to help them
understand what they were struggling to understand about the law.

So notice what he says.

For the woman, verse two, who has a husband, is bound by the law to her husband as long as
he lives.

But if the husband dies, she is released from the law.

of her husband.

When Paul says she's released from the law of her husband, what does that mean?

She's no longer married.

Now notice, so then if while her husband lives, she marries another, she will be called an
adulteress.

But if her husband dies, she is free from that law.

so that she's no adulteress, though she has married another man.

Therefore, my brethren, you also have become dead to the law through the body of Christ,
that you may be married to another, to him who was raised from the dead, that we should

bear fruit to God."

If you argue that the man whose wife died is still the husband of one wife, you argue that
the law of Moses is still binding on Jews today, even if they're Christians.

because you're saying they're still attached to the law.

And Paul's making it clear, no!

The moment Jesus died on the cross and hung that old law on the cross, that old law had no
bearing.

It had no grip over those Jews or those Gentiles ever again.

So that having been freed from the law of Moses, they are now

available unmarried to be married to Christ, to bear fruit to Christ.

Now, that helps us understand marriage and the death of a spouse and remarriage.

That's great.

But it also helps us understand the qualification of the husband of one wife, because the
description there is he is

Currently, he is present tense, not has been, presently the husband of one wife.

Now.

Let's deal with the widower before we deal with the next scenario.

Here's a man who's been an elder for 15 years.

and his wife dies.

He's been an elder for 15 years.

He meets all the other qualifications.

Except he's now not the husband of one wife.

what would be appropriate for him to do in that scenario.

to step down or to get married.

Either of those are options.

Does that mean that as he's standing there with the doctor and his wife has just passed
away that the rest of the elders need to walk into the room and say, brother,

I hope you know, but now that she's gone, you're no longer an elder.

Is that how that needs to be handled?

No!

There are far more important things to be dealing with at that moment than, hey, we need
to inform you, you're not an elder anymore.

Aren't there?

As a matter of fact, is his focus really going to be on being an elder right at that
moment anyway?

Now, watch this.

Are there times that elders...

who are in the role of being an elder are not able to function and fill that role and rely
on the rest of the eldership to then take up the slack?

Will that be true of an eldership?

Sure.

I love this example of both Peter and Lewis.

When Lewis, who's an elder down in Florida, goes on a mission trip for a month or more,

Do the elders who are back at home have to pick up some of the slack because he's on a
mission trip for a month?

Most assuredly.

Does that mean he needs to step down the day before he leaves every time and then be
re-established back as an elder when he comes back?

No.

The fact of the matter is we have qualifications.

And then the other reality is we have life to deal with.

And so when you have an elder whose wife has died, it is not necessary for the
congregation to make sure that it's announced the very next Sunday that he's no longer an

elder.

time and consideration and patience and forbearance and love and all those things should
come into play because he just lost his wife, okay?

But we do need to understand the qualification.

One of the reasons for the qualification is that those elders will have many members to
deal with.

And as a result of that, they're going to need the help and the support

of a help me who's able to help them in that role.

Okay?

It is part of what is needed as an elder that you have a wife.

But what about the man who was a widower?

And when his wife died, he had been an elder for 10 years, his wife died, he stepped down
after an appropriate amount of time realizing the situation, and then he got married again

to a fine, faithful Christian woman.

True or false?

He's the husband of one wife or two wives?

I know, I said true or false and then I turned it into a multiple choice.

Multiple choice A, or C.

He's the husband of no wives, one wife or two wives.

One.

How do we know?

All right, Romans 7 tells us, Jesus also tells us, you remember the occasion where the
lawyer comes to Jesus and he asks, or no, sorry, the Sadducees come to Jesus and they say,

a man, sorry, a woman marries a man and the man dies and so according to the law she was
given to the next brother in line and that brother dies.

So she's given to the next brother in line.

And that brother dies.

And she gives seven brothers, all dead.

She's still alive.

The Sadducees, who don't believe in the resurrection, want to know from Jesus, whose wife
is she in the resurrection?

And Jesus said, you do not know the power of God nor the Scriptures.

Because He points out that in eternity we will not be what?

Married.

He says in eternity there is neither marriage nor giving in marriage, but we will be like
the angels, which tells you what about the angels?

They're not married.

So, when a spouse dies, is the spouse who is alive still married to the spouse who died?

No.

Nor will they be in eternity.

Because there is no marriage in eternity.

Nor giving in marriage in eternity.

So when she arrives in eternity, she's not the wife of any of those seven men.

And so when an elder's wife passes away, if he remarries, he is the husband of one wife.

And if that wife dies and he remarries a third time, and if that wife dies and he
remarries a fourth time, number one, you start questioning why it's so stressful to live

with this man that all these people are dying.

But the fact of the matter is when he marries again, he's the husband of one wife.

Okay?

Now.

different situation since we're on the topic.

Since Ava brought it up.

Blaming this all on Ava.

What about a man who was married?

And then after a period of time in that marriage, his wife commits adultery, commits
fornication against him, and he puts her away for the cause of fornication.

Question number one, is he married?

No.

Question number two, is he according to scripture eligible to be married?

Yes.

Question number three, if he gets married again to a fine faithful Christian woman, raises
a family and is in his 60s or 70s, years have gone by.

Is he qualified to be an elder according to the qualification of a husband of one wife?

Yes.

Okay.

Because he is the husband of one wife.

Because according to what we're told in scripture in Matthew chapter five, in Matthew
chapter 19, in other places, when God sees

that an individual has committed fornication against their spouse and that individual is
put away for the cause of fornication, God removes that binding of that marriage from that

individual who was the innocent party.

Now, just for clarity, what happens if the man was actually the one who committed the
fornication and his spouse put him away and years go by?

and he remarries and he's a member of the body of Christ in a local congregation.

And they say, I think you'd be a great individual to be an elder.

Is he qualified to be an elder?

The better question is, is he qualified to be married?

No, he's living in adultery.

He's certainly not qualified to be an elder.

He's living in adultery.

You see, because when he committed fornication and was put away for the cause of
fornication, God makes it clear he's never eligible to be married again because of what

was done and because of him being put away for the cause of fornication.

And whoever marries him, Matthew chapter 19, is committing fornication, committing
adultery.

He's not eligible to be an elder.

He's not eligible to be married.

Go ahead.

Okay?

So, this conversation question comes up quite often, and it has to do with you have an
individual who was married before they were a Christian, then they were divorced before

they were a Christian, and then perhaps even they were remarried before they were a
Christian.

And then they become a Christian.

Are they forgiven?

and what happens as result of that.

Okay?

So, the easiest way I can help us understand this is by analogy.

And trust me, the value of analogies when you're working in issues like this are
incredibly helpful because there are situations where we just get it.

it just clicks, we know exactly how it should work, and then there are situations that are
messy because of people's lives, and we start trying to rethink it.

Paul does the same thing, by the way, when he used the law, which was a messy situation
for the Jews who were Christians, and marriage, which was not a messy situation.

They understood exactly how it was supposed to work.

Okay, so helping us with analogies is the same way scripture does.

So let's do it this way.

Here's an individual who's not a Christian, and they live a life where they're actively
making their money off of being a thief.

Then they hear the gospel, and they obey the gospel, and they repent of the wrong that
they've done.

They realize they need to change.

The only thing is

They've decided they're going to keep being a thief because it's a very good way to make a
living.

Can they continue being a thief just because they've been baptized and expect that the
fact that they were a thief has now been forgiven?

No.

All right, let's do it again.

Here's an individual.

They meet a person that they love and they get married.

A very loving relationship.

Some years down the road, they hear the gospel.

and they realize they're lost, they need to repent, they need to be forgiven, they are
immersed in water for forgiveness of their sins, they rise up, walk newness of life.

And nobody at that church has ever met their spouse.

So the next Sunday they walk in and it's a man and another man.

Can they stay in that homosexual relationship just because they've been baptized?

No.

Why?

because the action of being in the relationship is sinful.

Okay?

The state of being in the relationship is sinful.

They can't stay in it.

Just like the thief can't continue being a thief.

And the liar can't continue being a liar.

Now, 1 Corinthians chapter six.

That's not just Aaron talking.

It's exactly what the Scripture tells us was the state of Christians in the first century.

1 Corinthians chapter 6 and verse 9,

nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards,
nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.

And, Paul writes, and such were some of you.

Paul is writing to the church at Corinth and he is telling them, you cannot be these
things and inherit the kingdom of God.

but he is not saying that they've never been those things.

He is saying to the very precise point, had been those things before they were Christians.

But he says, and such were some of you, but you were washed, speaking of their baptism,
but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the

Spirit of our God.

as Paul's writing this, he's saying this is how they used to be.

Then they were baptized and realized they could not continue being what they had been in
the past.

And among that list are adulterers, homosexuals, sodomites, and thieves.

Now we get it right away when it comes to a thief because we think, that's an action,
that's a choice, not a state.

And we sometimes treat marriage like a state.

You know, it happened before and I am married until something happens and I stop being
married.

But what we need to appreciate is it is a state that is either authorized or unauthorized.

Let's go to another passage real quick.

Turn to Mark.

Mark chapter 6, Jesus is out doing miracles, the fame of Jesus is spreading throughout the
country, and Herod hears that Jesus is doing these things and Herod has assumed that it's

John the Baptist who's doing these things, though John the Baptist was beheaded by Herod.

Notice what the passage says.

Now, verse 11, chapter 6 of Mark,

Now King Herod heard of him, for his name had become well known, and he said, John the
Baptist is risen from the dead, and therefore these powers are at work in him.

Others said, It is Elijah.

Others said, It is the prophet, or like one of the prophets.

But when Herod heard, he said, This is John, whom I beheaded, he has been raised from the
dead."

For Herod himself had sent and laid hold of John, and bound him in prison for the sake of
Herodias, his brother Philip's wife, for he had married her.

Question?

If this was Herod's only wife, Herodias, he was the husband of what?

More wife.

But Herodias was the wife of how many husbands?

Two.

But notice the text says his brother, Philip's wife.

Now we know from external historical sources that Herodias had divorced Philip to become
Herod's wife.

And yet the text is quite clear and John was quite clear.

You may have gotten a divorce, but she's still married.

She's still Philip's wife.

That helps us understand something, number one, about the laws of men in contrast to the
laws of God.

Men will make laws that allow certain things God doesn't allow.

Men will allow a man to marry a man.

Does that mean God joins two men together in marriage?

No, he does not.

So in actuality, in God's eyes, are they married at all?

No, can submit all the paperwork they want to the IRS and get tax deduction, but they're
not married.

They're living in fornication.

Herod had his brother Philip's wife.

Now notice what the text says, because John had said to Herod, it is not lawful for you to
have your brother's wife.

John told Herod, it's against the law.

It's not lawful.

You can't do this.

Now.

Let's run through this scenario.

John preached what message?

repent for the kingdom of heaven is a hand.

And when individuals repented, what did John have them do by nature of the fact that John
preached out near the Jordan River?

They would repent and be baptized for the remission of sins in anticipation of the
kingdom.

If it had been acceptable for Herod to have repented, been baptized, and stayed married,

Why didn't John give him that option?

because it wasn't.

See, one of the things that we miss, or sometimes miss, and gets left out of this
conversation is baptism washes away sin.

True.

But repentance is required before baptism.

And when an individual is living in an adulterous marriage and they are aware of it...

They must repent.

How do you repent of living in an adulterous marriage?

You have to stop doing it.

You have to do the same thing the thief has to do.

You have to do the same thing the homosexual has to do.

You have to stop participating in it.

In the legal terms, yes.

So here's the thing.

We're going to go back to the laws of men and the laws of God.

In order for it to be an adulterous relationship, God says, I never joined you together.

Go back to Matthew chapter 19.

Matthew chapter 19 verse 1, now it came to pass when Jesus had finished these sayings that
he departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan and great

multitudes followed him and he healed them there.

The Pharisees also came to him testing him and saying to him, it lawful for a man to
divorce his wife for just any reason?

And he answered and said to them, have you not read?

that he who made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this
reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two

shall become one flesh.

So then they are no longer two, but one flesh.

Therefore what God..." Now notice the phrase, what God has joined together, let not man
separate.

Jesus is emphatic.

God joins two people in marriage.

So one of our instructors kind of helped us with this in a series of questions.

First one, true or false?

Only God joins two people in marriage.

True, all right?

Now there's laws and ordinances and things of men that have to be done.

For instance, there's a time in the history of America where two people had to jump over a
broomstick in order to be called married.

Some of them do.

And there's other times in America where you had to submit a marriage license to the state
in order to be considered married.

And some you had to stand before justice of the peace for a preacher in order to be
married.

That's not what we're talking about.

Those are all ordinances of men, and in whatever place and space you find yourself in, you
should obey the ordinances of men to the best of your ability so long as they do not

violate the ordinances of God.

Okay?

Now, question number one is, true or false?

Only God joins two people together in marriage.

The answer is true.

True or false?

Only God only joins two people together in marriage in accordance with his marriage laws.

True.

Question three.

True or false?

Only God can disjoin two people from marriage.

True.

He does it in one of two ways.

One, death, or two,

in accordance with the next question.

True or false?

God only disjoins two people from marriage in accordance with His marriage laws.

True.

So here's the thing.

When you put those questions together, which are really simple, it's like, yes, yes, yes,
yes.

It means Herod had never been joined by God to Herodias.

He was married according to the laws of the land.

He was king.

He could do whatever he wanted to do.

And yet John makes it clear with his words, it is not lawful.

that God had never joined Herodias' inheritance marriage.

And as a matter of fact, John is making it clear they are living in sin.

And John doesn't prescribe baptism as the solution.

He prescribes restoring the wife to the brother who she belonged to as a solution.

Now how much was John

going to stand behind his position on marriage, divorce and remarriage.

to the point that Herodias had him beheaded by Herod for his stance.

I've known a few preachers who have been detached from the pulpit they preach in for their
stance.

But the fact of the matter is, that's what the text teaches.

God only disjoins two people in accordance with his laws.

Now, continuing Matthew chapter 19.

They then said to him, why then?

did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce and to put her away?

He said, Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your
wives, but from the beginning it was not so.

And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, or the King
James says fornication, and marries another, commits adultery.

and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.

Here's a husband and a wife.

they get married.

They find out they don't really like each other.

She can't make breakfast the right way, and he never picks his underwear up off the floor.

They're just done with this.

They get divorced.

Why'd they get divorced?

Because they couldn't get along.

Which one of them is eligible to be married?

Neither.

Now, they are eligible to go back to one another and fix it.

Yes.

Okay, so in a case where there's fornication on both parties, there isn't an innocent
party.

See, the Scripture is giving the person who is innocent

the out because of the violation of the vows, all right?

But there's no innocent party in that scenario.

There's no one who can stand up and say, I kept the marriage vows, therefore I am
authorized by God to put you away for the cause of fornication.

There's no innocent party.

Therefore, if they divorce, they're not eligible to be married.

They can go back to one another.

There's no innocent party.

Now, we can get way deeper into this, and maybe it's appropriate to do so at some point,
but we've only got two minutes left.

So, on the discussion of elders, before we go too much further, a man, this was a 30
minute answer to Ava's question.

A man who doesn't have a wife, is he the husband of one wife?

Doesn't have a wife.

He is not the husband of one wife.

A man who is married and has only ever been married once, and she's currently alive, is he
the husband of one wife?

A man who has been married and his wife has died and he has never remarried, is he the
husband of one wife?

A man who's been married, his wife died.

He remarried after she died.

Is he the husband of one wife?

Yes.

A man who's married, who put away his wife for the cause of fornication, and is now not
married.

Is he the husband of one wife?

If that man remarries a woman who is eligible to be married, is he the husband of one
wife?

Yes.

There's your answer to your question, Ava.

You're dismissed.